A Moody, Blue York State of Mind

Oh, hello blog! Long time, no write. I see you haven’t changed a bit.


The past month has just royally sucked, which is why I’ve had neither the energy nor the interest to write about anything positive. I almost forced myself to post a recipe about a week ago, but for some reason it felt like a betrayal to my current state of mind. Weird how the mind works sometimes… I actually wrote out an entire post after the election, but then decided not to post it. I think it was more therapeutic for me to just write it than to post it. I also cussed quite a bit in it, so it probably wasn’t super appropriate to publish.


But really, the election results were god awful and I feel like I’ve been grieving ever since. I’m legitimately scared for what’s to come and disappointed in our country, but I’ve been working to channel that energy into community involvement. I think helping at least on a local level is better than doing nothing at all. So volunteer to help out in your community, people! Check out my current community initiative to help the homeless people of Charlotte and donate if you wish here. I’ve also discovered which of my Facebook (and non-Facebook) friends’ values align with mine, so that’s a plus. I’m noticing that there is power in numbers more than ever, and I think some good changes will still be made by good people, despite the present looming despair.


I’ve been transitioning medications (again), so the withdrawal side effects have been a bit draining. Brain zaps, nausea, dizziness and sleep issues for two weeks straight is no fun at all. I’ve had a love/hate relationship with coffee as a result. Hopefully this new one sticks, though. Just gotta keep trying, but it certainly is frustrating. Who would have thought so much effort was involved to just be “normal”?


My divorce was also finalized this past weekend, so I’ve had a flurry of emotions come up all at once, from sadness to grief to guilt to relief (unintentional rhyming there). It hit me harder than I expected and it’s been a rough few days. We were married for 6 years, together for 11…that’s over a third of my life! Now i’m 30 and divorced, which is not an easy realization to accept. But we’re both the better for it, and I believe there are chapters to our lives we must embrace. Sometimes it’s a struggle to completely let go, because so much investment has been made and new things can be scary. But it’s important that we all experience life to our own fullest, and doing so means making necessary changes. So I move onward from here, cherishing old memories and welcoming new experiences and people into the next chapter of my life.


All of these things have had an effect on my exercise levels, appetite, mood and state of mind, but sometimes we need to experience the hard parts of life to appreciate the good parts. I hope to get back to more positive posts in the coming weeks. I think this post was needed to reset my mind and get me back on track. My favorite holiday is quickly approaching, so I need to perk up and get happy. Until next time, which is hopefully a post about cookies, thanks for sticking with me  😉

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